space

my alarm goes off at 6:15am. i roll out of bed [literally thanx to a painfully low overhead] and stand up, blinking the sleep out of my eyes. i fumble with my clothing, and recall longingly, a time when i had reason to stay in bed until the last possible moment. the magnetism of a warm body in bed is a powerful persuasion 'not to get up quite yet.' now-days i'm greeted in the morning by a twisted blanket and crumpled pillow; not so enticing. now something is missing. the perception you get of yourself from sharing close physical space with someone you care about is priceless. alone it's just me against the rest of the world. my body standing in the galley kneading bread. my body sitting at the computer, ankles crossed, typing. my body curled up against the thin blanket and the side of the bunk. i think i may know how it would feel to be a planet thrown out of orbit. suddenly finding yourself in the dark of space utterly alone. no other planets to spin off of, no gravitational pull from the sun. in the vast vacuum of space you can get lost in yourself.


the library is closing, they're kicking me out. i spent so much time staring at the screen, willing all these weirdos to leave me alone. tonight has been annoying people at the library night. i was in a really great mood- i got my bike back together [it was a broken spoke- hardcore!] i got free coffee, and had a nice piece of chocolate... then i forgot my library card, got assigned a computer instead of choosing my own, and was stuck next to the two most shallow, bitchy, superficial, monsters i have ever seen outside of a movie screen. these kids made me sad for teenagers everywhere. then, i finally get to move, and get stuck next to this guy who smells like the pocket of jb's pants where he keeps all of his gross cigarette butts. this guy not only talks to himself about whatever it is he is doing on the computer, but instead of typing like a normal person, he attacks his keyboard like the harder he hits the keys, the smarter he is. good grief. i hope all of you with personal computers really really appreciate them.